New Year, New Mottos?

10 Dec

I feel that I need to make a few changes around here in my blog. I’m gonna start with the motto in the upper left corner above MARIANABANANA, which now reads “the girl in the white lace dress and combat boots”, because, honestly, who wears a lace dress in this cold? Not me, that’s for sure, so my new motto will be something like “I make the best of both worlds” or similar. As a reminder of how blessed I am and a motivation to keep it that way. I’ll be making more changes, once I know what and how, but that is enough for now.

Stop And Stare

10 Dec

Have I mentioned how beautiful it is outside today? The sky is almost clear, the clearest it has been for many weeks, and the visible sun is beaming down on green, brown, yellow, orange and white trees, on the snow covered ground,  on strangers and loved ones faces. And the way it shines through the window and lightens and warms up the apartment, it also lightens and warms up my existence, and I’m all smiles for a few moments before it’s time to move on.
I must be a summer-person, then.

10 December 2010

10 Dec

I’m off to the doctor’s, wish me good duck!

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UPDATE at 12:23 PM:

Obviously I meant good *luck, not duck. That’s what I get when I blog that early, haha.

Anywho, today I’ve realized I’m not so keen on needles. But the fact that I can’t stand blood, I already knew.
As I mentioned last night, I went back to the health center this morning to do a blood test. It went… well, it didn’t go exactly as smooth as it should have, but it wasn’t too harsh. It still feels as if the needle is there, though, is that normal? But other than that, I only feel a bit dizzy. I hope I will get my result soon, but in the meanwhile, I believe I have some studying to do?

9 December 2010

9 Dec

I went to the health center to get my nose examined today (brought extra paper with me in case it would start again – always prepared, right?). Mostly the doctor asked me questions about when my nose started bleeding, if I hit it somehow or if I know any other cause, how often and what do I do about it, and also if I bruise or bleed easily otherwise, if I have any allergies, or diseases in the family, and how I am feeling physically. I had already answered those exact questions when I called to book an appointment this morning, but like the “good” girl I am, I answered them again. Doc said that nosebleed can be caused by damaged or malformed blood vessels or… a blood disease. And also pointed out that I look, no offense, wan and worn, and wondered whether it is my normal look or of it is the nosebleed. I wasn’t sure, “both” I answered and laughed weakly.
I’m going back first thing tomorrow to run some tests. If it turns out to be a blood vessel problem, the doc said that they are going to burn some spot inside my nose, and just the thought of it…
But if it turns out to be a blood disease… I choose burning my nose, any day, every day. It sounds much more scarier. When I think blood disease, I think… well, you know, probably same things that you think, right? And isn’t that scary as heck?

One thing I am sure of, even long after my nosebleed stops, is that I’ll be having bloody nightmares for a very long time.
But hopefully not tonight, because I need to get much sleep before my grueling day tomorrow.
God, I probably have tons of homework piled up, too, don’t I? As soon is I have my nose under control, I will have it glued to Global Media Discourse and Inventing English to catch up. And I don’t even want to think about what else I am missing…

I’d better go to bed before I’ll get really… emotional, haha. Good night, all!
PS. Still haven’t cleaned my room or found my camera cord. La-Z.

Some days…

7 Dec

Some days you’ll find me less chatty than others. Whether it is because something has put me in that mood and I just don’t feel like talking about it that day or I simply woke up on the wrong side of the bed or I am too busy with schoolwork or anything else to write more than three sentences, I think I’ll always want to be in here, in my blog, expressing myself in one way or another. Those days I’ll mostly put up pictures here instead of words. I guess I’ve gotten used to this blogging thing.

Today is one of those days, but unfortunately my camera/PC cord is still M.I.A. so I will have to do with that, too. That is until I get myself up from this dangerously comfy sofa and go and seriously look for it. And I plan to do that… any minute now… or I’ll just do it tomorrow, it is getting late, isn’t it?
Haha, yeah, I know, excuses!

Anywho, goodnight, all.

7 December 2010

7 Dec

Hahaha! Look what I made…

Isn’t that just so me? You can make a South Park character of yourself over here.

True Blood

6 Dec

You know what I like the least about winter? Even more than all the snow  and the ice and the cold and the darkness? Nosebleed.
I was dragged into a another turn of it this morning and it was absolutely dreadfully horrible, it  always is. And it continues for at least fifteen minutes, which can’t be normal, can it?
But the worst part is not that I can’t stand the sight or smell of blood at all normally, but my imagination. Because when I see it just pouring down, almost like tap water running… All I can think about is what if it won’t stop this time? Or why, what is wrong with me? And something else which I will spare you from, because it is too sick. And when it’s over I keep expecting and waiting for the next turn and hope that it will happen when I am safe and sound at home and don’t have anything pretty around.
Maybe… Am I just overreacting? God knows, I hope so!